Friday, December 7, 2012
Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It's Back To Work I Go
Yup, that's right. I am officially back to work. After pretty much crying all day on Sunday, Monday morning I put on my big girl panties and headed out the door. It was the hardest thing that I ever had to do. The minute I closed the garage door and pulled out of the driveway, I started crying. Despite my extreme dismay regarding leaving Giovanni, I am very blessed for the mere fact that my husband is staying home with him. In other words, my husband has become a full-time "manny." Throughout the day he sends me pictures of Giovanni and lets me know what is going on. My husband is now the one bringing Giovanni to his physical therapy appointments (for the torticollis), making sure he gets his meds, and monitoring his feedings to ensure that his weight remains stable. While I am grateful, there is a part of me that is jealous. I wish I could be the one that is doing all of this stuff. While I know (at least I hope) it isn't true, there is a part of me that worries that Giovanni isn't going to feel connected to me since I have to leave for work everyday. Is this normal?
One great thing about my job is that they are VERY family oriented. My boss is nothing but supportive around the fact the I am a mom, and a new mom who went through hell to get my little miracle. I don't have a typical 9 to 5 job where I sit at a desk all day. I have a job where my car is my mobile office and I travel between two States to do my work. Needless to say that it has taking some time to get used to pumping while working. Since it is colder than hell here in NY, pumping has been rather unpleasant. Yesterday I mastered the art of pumping while driving. I had a very long and intensive day so having to stop and pump for 20+ minutes would have put me behind and made my day even longer. One good thing about breastfeeding/pumping is that my company will not separate me from Giovanni for more than 24 hours. I have a meeting coming up in January in Philadelphia and both my husband and Giovanni get to travel with me!
All in all, going back to work was bittersweet. I was sad that I had to leave my little peanut, but thankful that I had such a wonderful job and company to go back to after being out on medical leave for almost 8 months. I am a very lucky girl!