Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas!

This time last year I was dealing with slow rising Betas, thinking that yet another pregnancy was coming to an end. This year I am celebrating Christmas with my little miracle. Never give up as dreams do come true. Merry Christmas to all!!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Season for Giving

I have been following the story of a little 8 month old girl, Isabelle Sherman, from a town near where I grew up, for quite some time now. For over 6 months she was fighting a mystery disease that kept causing sepsis and prevented her from gaining weight. At 7 1/2 months old she was just over 8lbs. This little angel has been fighting for her life at our local medical center when she should be home just enjoying being a baby. Recently it was discovered that Izzy has a disease called Mitochondrial Complex 1 Deficiency. As you will read, the prognosis is not good. A couple of weeks ago Izzy was discharged from the medical center as there really wasn't much else the doctors could do. Last week, Izzy spiked a fever of over 105 and was rushed back to the medical center where it was found that she is septic again, and even after 5 days of antibiotics, the cultures are still coming up positive...and she is still spiking fevers.

Since Izzy has been in the hospital most of her short life, her mother Stephanie, has been unable to work as she has been constantly by Izzy's side with the exception for a few days when Stephanie was sick herself. Izzy's dad also had to leave his job as they have three young boys at home, and with Stephine constantly by Izzy's side, it was impossible to work and take care of the boys. Through donations the Sherman's have been able to "get by" for the time being but I recently learned that they are almost $700 in the rears with the utility company that supplies their electricity and heat. While anyone is more than welcome to directly make a donation on Izzy's page, I am personally collecting money to put directly towards their utility bill. If anyone is interested in making a donation directly through me, you can send money via PayPal to bringonthebabies@gmail.com. If you would like to send a check you can send me a private email and we can work that out. And again, if you are more comfortable, you can always make a donation directly on Izzy's page.

Here is a link to Izzy's Facebook page:


Here is the direct link to make a donation on her page:

Here are a few news links to her story as well:


Thanks for any consideration that you may give!!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

What the Future Holds

Over the past several weeks I have been thinking a lot about my future. Not just my future in the sense of what I want to do and how I want my life to be, but more along the lines of motherhood and where I go from here. Since it has already been a year since we did our last IVF, it is coming time to pay the yearly storage fee for my remaining six frozen embryos. With the craziness of getting pregnant, the complications during the pregnancy, and now just being a mom, I really haven't given much thought to my frozen embryos and what the future holds for them. I do know one thing for sure and that is that I am no where near ready to start thinking about having another child. I am the type of mom that wants to enjoy what I have and not rush through things just to get them done. Giovanni has already changed so much since birth and I just think it is important to enjoy it because before I know it he won't be a baby anymore. I just don't want to take this stage for granted as I know I will never get it back.

Many people have asked me if I plan on having more kids. Considering what I have went through, not only during this pregnancy, but everything before that just to get pregnant, I honestly don't know what to say. If things were going to be easy and I was guaranteed not to have the complications I had this last time, then yes, I would do it all over again. But can anyone really make that guarantee? One thing that we do know is that I cannot get pregnant and stay pregnant again without some type of intervention. We learned that the only thing that kept Giovanni in all that time was the scar tissue from the CKC I had to remove the cancer. The doctors had no idea how I was still hanging on with a cervix under 1cm, and now we know. While I know that infertility treatments are in my future if I do want to do this again, there is always that small possibility that, by the miracle of God, I could get pregnant on my own. Yes, we need to do everything we can to make sure that I don't get pregnant as my body cannot support implantation without heroic measures before hand, but again, what if a miracle happened and we were blessed by the fact that my body suddenly learned how to support a pregnancy on its own? This is where we need to take action now. Within the next few months I will be consulting with a physician who specializes in transabdominal cerclages (more in-depth post to come). There is a physician in southern New Jersey and one in Chicago that specializes in these. I actually spoke to the doctor in Chicago several times during my pregnancy as he specializes in incompetent cervix due to CKC so I am quite comfortable with him and am leaning towards going with him for this procedure. In short, a transabdominal cerclage is a stitch that is placed high in the cervix by making an incision in the abdomen. Traditional vaginal cerclages are placed vaginally but since most of my cervix was removed from the cancer, I am not a candidate for this type.

Even though there is a chance that I will never try and have another child, this is still something that my husband and I feel strongly about. Once it is placed, it is there for an indefinite amount of time. I look at it as a safety net...if we need it, I'll have it.

Monday, December 10, 2012

One Year Ago Today...

...I was handed this picture.

Dreams DO come true!!

Friday, December 7, 2012

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It's Back To Work I Go

Yup, that's right. I am officially back to work. After pretty much crying all day on Sunday, Monday morning I put on my big girl panties and headed out the door. It was the hardest thing that I ever had to do. The minute I closed the garage door and pulled out of the driveway, I started crying. Despite my extreme dismay regarding leaving Giovanni, I am very blessed for the mere fact that my husband is staying home with him. In other words, my husband has become a full-time "manny." Throughout the day he sends me pictures of Giovanni and lets me know what is going on. My husband is now the one bringing Giovanni to his physical therapy appointments (for the torticollis), making sure he gets his meds, and monitoring his feedings to ensure that his weight remains stable. While I am grateful, there is a part of me that is jealous. I wish I could be the one that is doing all of this stuff. While I know (at least I hope) it isn't true, there is a part of me that worries that Giovanni isn't going to feel connected to me since I have to leave for work everyday. Is this normal?

One great thing about my job is that they are VERY family oriented. My boss is nothing but supportive around the fact the I am a mom, and a new mom who went through hell to get my little miracle. I don't have a typical 9 to 5 job where I sit at a desk all day. I have a job where my car is my mobile office and I travel between two States to do my work. Needless to say that it has taking some time to get used to pumping while working. Since it is colder than hell here in NY, pumping has been rather unpleasant. Yesterday I mastered the art of pumping while driving. I had a very long and intensive day so having to stop and pump for 20+ minutes would have put me behind and made my day even longer. One good thing about breastfeeding/pumping is that my company will not separate me from Giovanni for more than 24 hours. I have a meeting coming up in January in Philadelphia and both my husband and Giovanni get to travel with me!

All in all, going back to work was bittersweet. I was sad that I had to leave my little peanut, but thankful that I had such a wonderful job and company to go back to after being out on medical leave for almost 8 months. I am a very lucky girl!