Monday, October 1, 2012

Working It All Out

Over the past week I have been focusing on the goals I came up with for breastfeeding/pumping/feeding. After yet another meltdown after trying once more to put Giovanni to the breast, I decided that we were done. He is not going to be able to breastfeed and that is that. We have tried a SNS, nipple shields, laid-back nursing, a water "rebirth", three lactation consultants, and nothing has worked. The only thing trying to breastfeed gets me is a child who screams so hard that he stops breathing. I am done! No more feeling bad, no more letting others make me feel bad, it is over. Breastfeeding is supposed to establish a bond between mother and baby and that is far from what it was doing for us.

While I am done with breastfeeding, I haven't given up on giving him breast milk. I am now officially an exclusive pumper...something far harder than exclusively breastfeeding. I am pumping every 2-3 hours around the clock. While that isn't ideal, I am looking at it as my job right now. To make things a bit easier I rented a hospital grade electric and I have to say that it is so much better than my Pump In Style Advanced. It doesn't hurt nearly as bad and it is so much quieter. While I can't drag that thing around when I leave the house, I have invested in a manual pump which I have to say does an incredible job. I am also planning on putting my Pump In Style in my car so when I am in a hurry I can just strap it on and pump both sides at once. I am also working on my supply. I remember the days when I was siphoning the breast milk directly off of my nipples with a 1ml syringe only to get 0.1ml. I am now producing between 2.5 and 5oz. per pumping session. I am producing just enough for him to eat but I am an overachiever and would like to produce enough to have some extra. To do this I went ahead and ordered Domperidone (had to order it from another country) as its number one side effect is increased lactation as it raises prolactin levels. While it isn't available here in the US, it is approved by the American Academy of Pediatrics for use in lactating women. In other words, it is safe. I just checked the tracking for it and it is in NYC right now so I should have it in the next day or so.

I am also very happy to report that I have decided to take another 6 weeks off from work. I am using a combination of unpaid leave time and paid vacation. Doing this will have me going back to work the week before Thanksgiving and this will give me two three day work weeks in a row. I just couldn't see me going back to work this week. Giovanni is just starting to become more alert where he is starting to interact with me. He is starting to stare at me and occasionally tracks me with his eyes. Every once and a while he will give me a big smile followed by a high pitched squeal. It absolutely melts my heart!


  1. Sorry to hear the BF'ing didn't work out like you'd hoped. I remember all too clearly going through the SNS and breast shields and drugs to increase supply and having to still top up with formula. Hopefully you'll have great success pumping exclusively- it's definitely more work, but certainly worth it.

  2. You know what? I think you made the right choice, and were brave to do so. Look at that little man - he's growing up so fast and you are both going to love the next six weeks together!

  3. I think you made an awesome choice!! Giovanni is adorable...I love coming here and reading your new posts and seeing his pictures. You're a mama and it is so wonderful to see! Xoxox