Friday, April 20, 2012

Total Breakdown

I should have know by the way my day started that it wasn't going to get any better. To start off my day I woke up around 5am in pain so bad that it brought me to tears. It felt as though my uterus was ripping out of my stomach. I wasn't worried as I knew that it was round ligament pain, but I couldn't get it to stop. I paced the bedroom for a while hoping it would help but it didn't. After about 45 minutes worth of crying, pacing, and changing positions in my chair, it finally let up. This happened a couple of weeks ago and within a day or two my belly popped. I am assuming that my belly is going through another growth spurt but I can't understand how it can get much bigger now as I am already huge and I have a long way to go.

After getting a few more hours of sleep I finally woke up and realized that I had an appointment with my endocrinologist. As I was getting ready, the medical supply company delivered my wheelchair (for outings) and this think is a total clunker. There is no way in hell that I can lift it as I am restricted from lifting...and that is when it all hit me. My husband is having his cardiac surgery a week from today. I can't do shit for myself and now he is going to be out of commission for a while. My BFF is graciously sitting at the hospital with me since his surgery takes between 5-7 hours, but what the hell am I going to do later on? I will be in my wheelchair, but how am I going to get it in my car when (if) I go home that night? How the hell are we going to function once he gets home and can't do shit? I seriously don't know what we are going to do. In a panic I called and hired a poop scooping service for my three dogs (used them once over the winter) and I also set us up with a lawn service for a few weeks. I am sure that we will manage, somehow, but I am just very anxious about it. I know that he is restricted the most the first 5 days so those will be the toughest. I am hoping to do some meal prep next week and freeze a bunch of things so we can eat without me violating the rules of bed rest. I will have my husband do all the laundry on Tuesday so that it is washed and put away before his procedure. I guess it is the unknown that scares me. I am also worried about my appointment on Wednesday. If my cervix funneled any further they will be placing me on strict bed rest and even possibly in the hospital to monitor things. What the hell are we going to do if that happens??

6 comments:

  1. Krystyn, I'm SO sorry! I'm angry for you...you don't deserve this one bit! I wish there was something I could do.
    You won't leave my prayers.
    Xoxoxo
    Maria

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    1. Thanks Maria for the continued support. It means a great deal to me!

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  2. I'm sorry - things are really tough for you right now. I know that feeling of being overwhelmed by all there is to cope with. Hang in there. Sending a hug through the ether. x

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  3. Krystyn,

    Please know that you can always call me to come and help out. You will have to keep Ian occupied for me, but I'm betting that won't be a problem once I put him on your lap (he's WAY too much of a chunk for you to lift). If you need some light housecleaning or laundry done...I'm your girl.

    Hang in there. I promise that, in the end, it is sooooo worth it.

    xoxo

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    1. Thanks so much...you are the best!! I would love to play with little Ian...he is so freaking cute!! I just want to eat him up!

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