Friday, March 30, 2012

Sick As A Dog

I knew that I wasn't going to escape this year without getting sick at least once. With the temps being in the 80's one day, and the 30's the next, it was bound to happen. Monday night I started with this constant dry cough that I thought was caused by a slight tickle in my throat. Tuesday morning I woke up and I noticed that my entire pelvis was tender and had a huge mass on the right side. If you even put the slightest pressure on it I would go through the roof! I decided to call my MFM to make sure that it was normal. Just to be on the safe side they had me come in later that afternoon. By the time I got there the cough was worse and I was starting to feel pretty crappy. Since they got me in last minute I was forced to see the nurse practitioner. I was okay with this until a NP student walked in, without the actual NP and started asking me a bunch of questions. She walked out to give report to the actual NP, walked back in 5 minutes later and offered me physical therapy. What?!?! I hastily declined and was so upset with the care I just walked out. Apparently they thought that the pain was caused by all the coughing (which I agree with) but no one even palpated where I had the pain or checked it in any way. They didn't check my temp (despite the fact that I was running a fever) or listen to my lungs, considering I am partly high risk due to my severe asthma. I just walked out. I think my husband was more pissed than I was. By the time the evening came around I was feeling worse. I couldn't get my fever under control so I called the on-call doc and they told me to take Tylenol every four hours around the clock. Even with the Tylenol I couldn't get my temp much below 101.

By Wednesday morning I was not only running a fever, I also couldn't breathe. I was using my nebulizer and not getting much relief. I decided to call my Immunologist to see what he suggested. Apparently he was off that day but they still paged him for me. He was not happy in the least that the NP never checked me so he put in a phone call to the Chief MFM. He then called me back and started me on an antibiotic and Prednisone. After almost four days with a fever that just wouldn't quit, it finally broke early this morning. I still followed up with my Immunologist today as he wanted to make sure that my breathing was stable. Besides sounding like crap, my O2 levels were good and he was comfortable having me go home with some additional meds for my nebulizer. Just having the fever gone is a blessing. Now I just need to get my lungs to get rid of all this gunk so I can breathe again...and not have to be glued to my nebulizer all the time.

I have to say that, despite having shoulder surgery last week, my husband has been amazing. He gets very nervous when my asthma gets as bad as it did, but he now knows the routine and is able to setup both my machine and my medicine for it. He made sure that I was taking my meds as I should and was even going out of his way to make sure that I (and the baby) was eating and drinking enough. Also, for a man who never cooked a day in his life before he met me I was quite proud of his meal preparation skills. I hit the jackpot when I met him!!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

18 Weeks

How Far Along: 18 Weeks

Size of Baby: This week the baby is approximately 6 inches long crown to rump (similar to a mango) and weighs around 6.7oz ounces.

Picture of Baby: Ultrasound taken at 17+2. My sweet Little Cannoli sucking its thumb!

Maternity Clothes: I have been struggling with what to wear with the weather being 83 one day, and 39 the next. I have learned that I need to buy more layering pieces. I did manage to score a really cute black fitted dress from Pea in the Pod. Now all I need is a pair of Mama Spanx!

Weight Gain:  At my appointment last Thursday I was officially up 11 pounds. I guess that isn't too bad considering almost half of my pregnancy is over. My MFM was pleased with my weight so I will try to focus on that. I have struggled with my weight all of my life (see this post) so seeing the numbers steadily increase is sometimes difficult. I am holding steady in a size 10 so that makes me feel a bit better.

Belly: I was sick today, fever and all, so I would not let my husband take a picture of my god-awful face. I also just realized how chubby my arms are getting. Yuck!!

Stretch Marks: None yet.

Sleep: Sleep is such an odd thing now. Some nights I fall asleep right away and only wake up to pee. Other nights I am awake all night, which is a killer the next day.

Best Moment of the Week: Being told that my baby looks perfect during my anatomy scan.

Movement: Although I haven't felt any belly movement, we did confirm during my transvaginal ultrasound to check my cervix that the Little Cannoli is kicking my cervix which is causing these annoying lightening type pains.

Symptoms: The new thing that I am dealing with is sciatica. I get this dull ache in my right butt cheek followed by a shooting numbness down my right leg. It has literally knocked me to the floor a few times.

Food Cravings: Fried pickles with cucumber wasabi sauce. So yummy!!

Gender: Still not telling. Only 10 weeks until our big reveal!

What I Miss: Being able to bend over. I am still able to semi-bend over but it is quite uncomfortable. I now have to sit down to buckle or tie my shoes.

What I'm Looking Forward to: My next appointment on the 5th. Since I agreed to stop the 17P, I am a bit nervous to see what my cervix does in the two weeks without it. They have assured me that my cervix is so scarred that it won't open (probably not even for birth) so I am trying to focus on that.

Nursery:  I will know on Wednesday that install date for the wood floor. The first two flooring choices were backordered so we had to pick out yet another color.

Weekly Wisdom: Count everyday as a blessing!

Milestones: Getting through the anatomy scan. My next big milestone will be making it to 24 weeks...viability!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

The Big Anatomy Scan

I have been so nervous about this day for a very long time. The anxiety leading up to this scan was almost unbearable. I knew if something was wrong that this is when we would discover it. To my dismay, they switched things around and I had to meet with the MFM before my scan which delayed my anxiety even more. I was actually even anxious about this appointment as I was concerned what was going to come of my decision to stay on the 17P injections (see here). I went in armed with a letter that I had written and a bunch of journal articles to back up my decision. The MFM that originally decided to start the 17P is actually who I saw today. This topic was obviously the first thing that I addressed. I told her that I was confused and was not thrilled that the NP called me to tell me that their decision was based on journals that indicate that 17P was only indicated after a second trimester loss. She said that was not the case and their decision was actually a collaborative decision based on my previous internal exams. All three of the MFMs have observed me internally so they all came to discuss their findings. What drove their decision to discontinue the 17P was the amount of scar tissue I have. They actually think that my cervix won't even dilate when I go into labor and have decided that a Cesarean section is probably in my future. They said my cervix is so hard, closed, and scarred over that they are not worried right now about incompetent cervix or preterm labor. Since they are still going to monitor me every other week and have assured me on all of this, I have decided to stop the 17P...for now. They still took the letter I wrote and the journal articles for review. I have decided that I am going to see how things go and if I don't like how things are progressing with my cervix, I will restart the 17P. I am content with this decision...for now. They also informed me today that they will not let me go past 39 weeks and this makes me VERY happy.

So, onto my anatomy scan...

I was completely nauseous waiting for the scan to start. The tech was very optimistic when she came in and told me that she would explain everything to me as she went along. As soon as she placed the probe on my belly, would saw that our "Little Cannoli" (LC) was in position as usual...breech and wedged into a corner of my uterus. The tech started poking the baby with the probe and it finally moved and gave us a bit of an attitude...again...

As you can see LC decided to look at us like "hey, what the hell are you doing!" The tech was then able to start with the measurements. We got a few more pictures along the way as well.

(looking at the camera yet again)

(LC sucking its thumb)

We were able to see that the kidneys were perfect and functioning well; the brain looked normal; the heart was absolutely perfect and we got to watch the valves open and close; there was a perfect three vessel cord; cord insertion was perfect; and everything (all the bones) were measuring within five days of my gestational age which is great! LC is still measuring two days behind and has been since my 5 week ultrasound but obviously that is no big deal. LC is weighing in at 6oz. Based on that we are in the 45th percentile which is perfect. All in all things went perfectly. My cervix even grew quite a bit and is not measuring in at 4.1cm as it was 3.1cm last visit. We also confirmed today that those lightening vaginal pains that I have been getting is LC kicking my cervix. Great!!

So after all that worrying everything is just fine. I go back for another ultrasound in two weeks to check my cervix and then have another growth scan two weeks after that. I seriously don't know what I would do if I didn't have an ultrasound every two weeks. I do not envy those that have to wait 8+ weeks in between ultrasounds. I think I would buy my own ultrasound machine if that was the case. Ugh!

For now I am letting myself start to feel the joy that I should be feeling with this pregnancy. The fear is starting to lift as the reality of this pregnancy is starting to set in. Five months ago I would have told you that I didn't think that my dream of being a mom would ever come true, but now it looks as though I was wrong. Life is good and I couldn't be anymore thankful for my Little Cannoli!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

17 Weeks

How Far Along: 17 Weeks

Size of Baby: This week the baby is approximately 5.5 inches long crown to rump (similar to an sweet potato) and weighs around 5 ounces.

Picture of Baby: No new pictures taken since my last scan at 15+3. I will have a new picture this Thursday.

Maternity Clothes: Thank God for maternity clothes! I tried wearing one of my pre-pregnancy flowy tops as it has been quite warm and they just don't fit me anymore. They are way to short and nothing is more unattractive than a pregnant woman with her belly hanging out of her shirt!

Weight Gain:  Still holding steady as far as I know. I will know for sure on Thursday when I step on the dreaded scale. Ugh!

Belly: Big. It seems to be getting bigger and bigger everyday. I will post a picture soon.

Stretch Marks: None yet but I have feeling they are coming. 

Sleep: Nighttime insomnia has officially begun! I think it is partially due to the fact that I need a nap when I get home from work. I am also unable to sleep through the night without having to get up to eat.

Best Moment of the Week: Clothes shopping...for the baby, not me. Since we are not telling anyone the gender until after the shower, my husband and I will be responsible for the entire wardrobe. We went to Carter's and Gymboree and picked up a bunch of stuff in newborn and 0-3 months. I think we are good for a while!

Movement: None yet :o(

Symptoms: Constant hunger, back pain and fatigue are the most noticeable. I have been having a bit of heartburn in the morning but it isn't anything that I can't live with. I also had some swelling of the feet yesterday but I think that was due to the heat and me being on the go all day.

Food Cravings: Chips, chicken salad sandwiches and diet Dr. Pepper.

Gender: We found out a week and a half ago but we are keeping it to ourselves until after the shower. It is getting harder and harder not slipping when we talk about the baby.

What I Miss: Being able to sleep on my stomach. I have been having a lot of round ligament pain and rolling from side to side is sometimes painful. The pregnancy pillow helps but it isn't perfect.

What I'm Looking Forward to: My A/S on Thursday. While I am very excited to hear the words "everything looks perfect" I also know that this is the ultrasound where they will find something wrong if it is there. I really don't know what is worse, the fear I had when we did the NT scan or the fear associated with this scan. My husband is also having rotator cuff surgery tomorrow so I am looking forward to that being over with as well.

Nursery:  Wood floor is ordered and should be in late next week. Once it is here the install will take place about a week later.

Weekly Wisdom: Worrying does not change the outcome of anything!

Milestones: One of the biggest milestones for me will be this Thursday at our A/S. Once I know that the baby is perfect, I will feel so much better.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Testing Me

I knew eventually something like this would happen, but I never expected it to happen so soon. Yesterday afternoon around four, when I was working about 3 hours away from my home (out in the middle of nowhere), my phone rang with a familiar number. I quickly realized that it was my MFM office calling me. My first initial instinct told me that maybe they needed to change my appointment that is coming up on Thursday. When I picked up, it was the Nurse Practitioner from the office. She told me that my case was reviewed earlier that day my all of the MFMs as they do weekly reviews on most of their cases. She said that they spent a lot of time reviewing mine and they had come to some conclusions. The first thing that was decided was that they agreed with my decision and will let me keep working unless I experience 1). vaginal bleeding, 2). cramping, or 3). a shortening cervix. I was absolutely delighted to hear this as I just couldn't fathom why I would need to go out of work now, especially considering everything went so well with the Immunologist on Friday. I was very happy to hear this. The next thing she told me completely turned my world upside down. She said that two of the MFMs were in disagreement about the 17-P shots and wanted me to stop them. She said that since I have not had a 2nd trimester loss, that they felt that they were not indicated. One of the those that weren't in agreement with me being on them was the Chief of Maternal Fetal Medicine who was actually the first one (5 weeks ago) that briefly mentioned the use of progesterone after finding out that a cerclage was not possible. Their rationale for stopping it was that 17-P has only been shown effective IF you have had a 2nd trimester loss. I have so many problems with that statement it isn't even funny. Being as theory driven as I am, I had clearly done my research before starting this medication and was actually impressed with the literature that is out there supporting of 17-P in my case. I immediately told the NP that I did not agree with their decision in any way, shape, or form, and that I had no intention in stopping it unless they could show me, based on research, that it would be of no benefit or that it would potentially cause harm to my baby. She told me that wasn't the case so I told her that I wasn't stopping it without talking to them first. I asked her to have the MFM call me that originally told me that it was a good idea to do the P-17. I completely respect this MFM so I figured that she would be the voice of reason. I called the NP back later this afternoon as I had yet to hear from the MFM. She said that she probably would want to talk to me in person next week but was agreeing with the other two MFMs now. I personally think that since she is rather new to the practice, that she doesn't want to have a phone conversation with me and then go against what they say.

I have decided to write them a letter and I have already printed out almost a dozen journal articles that support the use of 17-P in my case. Here are the things that I am pointing out to them in my letter:
  1. my cervix has been surgically shortened by the CKC (this was actually discovered by the chief MFM)
  2. I cannot have a transvaginal cerclage because there is no cervix in my vagina
  3. women with shortened cervices have an increased risk of preterm birth
  4. 17-P shots have been demonstrated to be effective in prolonging pregnancy in a randomized trial of women with shortened cervices
  5.  there is no hazard to the 17-P shots whatsoever 
I have already made my mind up that I am not stopping them unless they could give me good evidence as to why I should. I am fearful about the outcome of this discussion, but to my benefit I already have the medication and I administer it myself, so they technically cannot stop me from taking it. Just to be sure that I was doing the right thing, I emailed the Chairman for the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the Univeristy of Chicago as he is one of the leading researchers in the country regarding incompetent cervices and surgically altered cervices. I have talked to him in the past regarding so research that he did so I decided to use this contact one additonal time. He is completely perplexed by their decision and even said that he hopes that the one MFM that originally started the 17-P has enough independence from the chief that she would see the need to continue them and is not just agreeing with them because she has to. Seriously, why can't things ever go smoothly?!?!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Good News

Today was my follow up appointment with the Immunologist. We were waiting on my recent immune panel to come back to determine my level of immune function and also to see if I needed to restart the IvIg transfusions. I was very nervous on my way to the office as Dr. C already told me that if my labs came back low that I was being taken out of work right away. Dr. C walked in, saat down, and starting asking me about my asthma. Since he started me on Symbicort and took me off of the Serevent and Pulmicort, my asthma has been doing quite well. I went from using my rescue inhaler 3-4 times a day, to only a few times a week. He was quite pleased and said that it was good that we got it under control now as he is expecting it to get worse as I go along in this pregnancy. One thing that he did say is that he is sending a letter to my MFM recommending that my delivery be scheduled for as soon as the baby's lungs are mature. He said going full term is in no way an option for me. Next he moved onto the immune panel. He was delighted to tell me that my immune function has improved greatly. He said it was quite odd that my immune function became better with pregnancy. Apparently my body likes being pregnant! No IvIg is needed and there is absolutely no reason for me to come out of work at this time based on immunological issues. I go back in two months to recheck my immune function.

So all in all, today was filled with good news. My next hurdle is convincing my MFMs that I can continue working. As long as everything stays as stable as it is right now, I think I will be able to keep pushing them off for a while. I go back on the 22nd so I guess that time will tell. Fingers crossed!!!

Friday, March 9, 2012

It's A...

Today I am 15 weeks 3 days and had my appointment with the MFM. My appointment started with an ultrasound to check my cervix. Of course they wanted to check the baby too so I was very happy that I was going to get another picture. I told the tech that we had an elective ultrasound coming up so I asked her if there was any possible way that she could tell us the gender today. Apparently the baby had his/her hand over their face and was sitting Indian style. The tech started poking the baby with the wand but could only get a shot between the legs when the baby kicked back. She said that she could only give us a guess and asked us if we wanted to know. I couldn't stand the suspense so I agreed. She reminded me that it was only a guess. After the transabdominal ultrasound, the MFM came in to do a vaginal one to check my cervix. Happily, my cervix is measuring exactly the same as it was 3 1/2 weeks ago. I was very pleased. She then decided to focus again between the legs as the baby had moved. We got a nice clear shot between the legs and the gender was confirmed!!! My husband and I couldn't be happier!

After my ultrasound we had my actual appointment. It was decided that I am starting the p17 injections on Tuesday at exactly 16 weeks. My insurance was going to cover the brand name made by Makena which costs $1500 a dose (ridiculous) but it would have to be dispensed by my doctor which means that I would have to go every Tuesday to get a shot in my ass. I decided that I would go with the compounded version of the p17 (which is FDA approved) so I could administer them to myself at home. The conversation then transitioned to my job. They told me that it would probably be best for me to stop working next week and were all set to right me the letter of disability today. They are basing this on my clotting disorder, immunological issues, and the fact that if I do develop IC, there nothing that can be done to keep me from completely dilating and going into full blown labor before the baby is even viable. I wasn't happy with this so I asked a bunch of questions and worked something out with them. It was decided that we are going to wait until we get the results from my immunological testing on Monday and also to see what the Chief of Maternal Fetal Medicine says as he was the one who wanted to take me out early and he was out sick today. I am actually planning on not dealing with this until my next appointment which is in less than two weeks. If my immunological blood work comes back okay indicating that I don't need to start IvIg transfusions again and if my cervix remains the same, I really want to take this in two week intervals. If I have little to no immunity or my cervix starts to shorten I will stop working in a heartbeat! She did say today that even if I manage to continue working for now, that they may just take me out of work at 24 weeks anyway. We will see. I am determined to work as long as possible (as long as my pregnancy isn't in jeopardy from it) as I want to stay productive. We also found out today that my screening for Downs Syndrome came back as 1:3900 (which is awesome) and I tested negative for Trisomy 13 and 18. They drew my AFP today to check for neural tube defects but for some reason I am not really worried about this. They already ruled out Anecephaly so really the only thing left is Spina Bifida and so far they said the baby's spine looks normal.

I go back for another appointment on the 22rd (which happens to be 1 day after my husbands shoulder surgery) at which time they will check my cervix and also do my level II ultrasound. I will also see the MFM again and reevaluate my work status. We also found out today that my husbands heart surgery is scheduled for Friday April 27th. The day before the surgery he has to go to the hospital as they need to do an echo where they make him swallow a camera so they can map out the structures of the heart for the procedure the following day. They have to sedate him for this so he is not happy. The doctor said that the first part of the surgery will take 4-5 hours and the second part with be an additional 1-2 hours. I am going to be a mess not knowing for 5-7 hours what is going on. I am telling the doctor that someone needs to come out every once in a while and let me know that everything is okay. I am not a patient person!! I am looking forward to the time when all of this is behind us and we can completely focus on the upcoming arrival of our little miracle!!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Labor & Delivery...My First Visit

First off, I would really like to thank everyone that responded to my post from yesterday about the blog roundup. I have gone through and responded to each and every comment so please take a look. Also, for those who have not commented yet, please feel free to leave me your blog information as I am excited about finding some new blogs to follow!

So, all day yesterday I was having a lot of back pain that was accompanied by rectal/vaginal spasms. I had called the nurse line at my MFM's office and left a message as I wanted to see if there was anything else that I could do that could help ease the pain. As soon as 5pm rolled around I figured out that they were not going to call me back. I have to say, that I was a bit pissed. Not that there was, but what if something was wrong? Finally I just couldn't take it anymore so I ended up calling the doc on call for my group. She spoke to me for about 20 minutes and asked me a bunch of questions. I told her that I had an appointment on Friday so I would address it then, but I needed to figure out what I could do to help this pain. When I told her about the rhythmic spasms and the watery discharge, she told me that it would be better if I came in to get checked out. So my first official visit to labor and delivery was underway. When I got there they had a room all ready for me. They had me change into a gown so they could take a look at everything. When I went into the bathroom to change, I was absolutely mortified when I saw that my pantyliner was covered in blood. Now the panic set in. They immediately got the heart rate on the doppler (with my help of course) and then the doctor came in. She did an abdominal ultrasound first to check my fluid levels. She said that the baby looked great and had plenty of fluid around it. She even took the time to show me all of the baby's little fingers and toes. After the ultrasound she wanted to do an internal exam as she wanted to take a sample to make sure that the watery discharge wasn't amniotic fluid. She also discovered that I had a ruptured vaginal blood vessel and that is what was causing the bleeding. Once she got the specimen she decided to do an internal ultrasound so she could get a good look at my cervix. She had a difficult time measuring it but she got it at 3.1cm, exactly what it was 3 1/2 weeks ago. I question her measurement a bit but I guess we will see.

So after about 2 hours we were able to go home with a clean bill of health. She is pretty sure that this intermittent back pain and spasms are being caused by the baby. Apparently the baby likes to wedge his/her head into the corner of my uterus. Also, not only is the placenta more towards the left side than the right, the baby also seems to favor the left side of the placenta which is causing pressure on my bladder, hence the 24/7 peeing...which is probably what the watery discharge embarrassing!!

Tomorrow afternoon is my 16 week (almost) appointment with the MFM. I am hoping we will get the p17 injections squared away and be able to come up with a game plan for the next few weeks. I am also hoping that they will be able to tell us the gender as I am just so excited to find out. If not, our elective ultrasound is in one week. I guess patience is a virtue!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Calling All Fellow Bloggers

Since starting my blog, many of the blogs that I follow are either on a hiatus or no longer posting updates. Since I love connecting with other people and reading others' stories, I am looking for new blogs to follow and new fellow bloggers to connect with. So here is what I would like to do. Everyone who reads this post who has a blog that they would like to share please introduce yourself.

  1. Tell me a bit about your blog. What made you start it? Does the name have a specific meaning? 
  2. Tell me a bit about yourself. Introduce yourself...let me know who you are. 
  3. Where are you currently in your journey? I am planning on separating my blogs into categories (TTC, IF treatment, Adoption, Pregnancy, Success).
Feel free to share as little or as much as you want. Even if I already follow your blog (see list to the right) re-introduce yourself. This is also a great way for others to connect to your blog.

Looking forward to getting to know all of you!!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

15 Weeks

I am finally starting to accept that this pregnancy may actually work out. The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was listen to the heartbeat with my husband. It is still beating away, louder and stronger than ever. My current fear is there something being wrong with the baby or my cervix. Over the past 24 hours I have been getting vaginal/rectal spasms/pressure which is scaring the crap out of me. They aren't painful, just annoying. They come and go sporadically with no real pattern. I consulted Dr. Google and it seems to me that this is being caused by either the ligament that goes across the pelvic floor or the baby laying on a nerve. It got pretty bad at one point where I was considering calling my nurse, but by the time I got around to it, the spasms/pressure had stopped...only to start back up again a few hours later. My appointment with the MFM is on Friday so I am going to try and hold off.

During lunch I went and had the second round of bloodwork for the combined screening. I wanted to be sure to go today so I could get the results at my appointment on Friday. I am actually quite nervous about this appointment. I am so scared that these pains/pinches/spasms/pressure is my cervix giving out, however, theoretically I know that IC really has no signs or just happens. I also had an appointment with my diabetic nutritionist today to go over my recent screwy blood sugars. It has been decided that I am to follow a GD diet. Since I tend to have some really low readings (48-54) she decided that she couldn't limit my carbs as much as she would have liked. For now I am to have 30g of carbs for breakfast, 50-60g for both lunch and dinner, a 30g snack between lunch and dinner as this is when I tend to bottom out, and a 15g snack before bed. I also now have to start checking my blood sugar pre and post breakfast and after lunch and dinner. It isn't as bad as I thought but it will still take me some time to adjust. I go back for a followup in 4 weeks.

So I thought I would start a new format that would highlight my weekly changes. I really want to document everything with this pregnancy as I really don't ever want to forget a thing. Let me know what you think!

How Far Along: 15 Weeks

Size of Baby: This week the baby is approximately 4-5 inches long crown to rump (similar to an avocado) and weighs around 3 1/2 ounces.

Picture of Baby: No new picture until Friday.

Maternity Clothes: I have been in maternity pants since 11 weeks (second sac was still growing) and I just recently transitioned into maternity tops. I still can wear some regular tops, they just need to be on the longer side.

Weight Gain:  Ugh! According to my calculations, I am up 9 pounds. Going by what my doctor "thinks" I was pre-pregnancy, I have only gained 4 pounds.

Belly: No pictures yet but I am noticeably pregnant now. There is no hiding this belly!!

Stretch Marks: None yet!

Sleep: Awful. I am up every 60-90 minutes to pee during the night. Since the baby is favoring my left side, I believe that s/he is using my bladder as a waterbed. I think the biggest problem is that I can't fully empty my bladder when I go. I am going to ask the MFM about this on Friday but I am sure that it is normal.

Best Moment of the Week: Just waking up each morning still pregnant and being able to listen to the baby's heartbeat.

Movement: None yet...I don't think. Since I have a posterior placenta they told the that I will start feeling movement quite early. With how volatile my stomach has been I really don't know if I will ever be able to tell movement from a gas bubble.

Symptoms: All of the sudden by boobs have started hurting again, not to mention the road map of veins that have developed. I have been having a lot of food aversions as well (chicken, eggs, mayo, most vegetables) which is really limiting my food choices. I have been extremely tired but now I am wondering if it is due more to my constant peeing during the night. Also, I am having a lot of pains and tugging in my pelvic region and belly.

Food Cravings: Anything sweet! I have had a thing with cupcakes lately but after my consult with the diabetic nutritionist today, that will be coming to an end :o(

Gender: Don't know yet. We will either find out this Friday at my 16 week appointment or a week from Saturday at our elective gender determination scan.

What I Miss: Nothing yet but with this new GD diet that I was started on today, all things good are coming to an end.

What I'm Looking Forward to: Getting through this appointment on Friday with no issues and also finding out the my second set of bloodwork for the combined screening is normal.

Nursery:  Still planning it. Ran into a little design snag that we are dealing with. It never dawned on me that both the furniture and the wainscoting are both white (duh!) so therefore the furniture will get lost in the room. We are working on alternatives so hopefully we will have a decision soon.

Weekly Wisdom: Try not to plan but have a "go with the flow" attitude.

Milestones: For me just reaching 15 weeks and still having a heartbeat is huge!!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Shower Planning

After talking with my mom, it was decided that it was time to start looking into venues for my shower. I live in a very touristy city (small city), so during the summer months things tend to book up pretty fast. Since I have been pregnant so many times, I have had a really long time to dream up the perfect shower. Even though the shower is being put on for me by a number of people, I still need to have control over, well, everything. Being a Type A OCD Perfectionist, I need to have my hands in everything. I have a vision!

First off, my doctor recommended that I have my shower by 28 weeks as my risk of going on strict bedrest dramatically increases after that. I will be 28 weeks on June 5th, so I chose the date of June 2nd for the shower. The venue that I chose has always been a favorite place of mine as the grounds are absolutely gorgeous and really exemplifies the city that I live in. The venue that I chose is at the golf course near where I live.

I absolutely love this place. The city that I live in is known for its summer horse racing so my husband and I frequent this place after a day at the track or after a day downtown as they have a superb restaurant. The back of the building overlooks the lush grass of the golf course and its many ponds.

When I met with the site coordinator, I got to tour the three different locations throughout the venue to actually have the shower. The first room that she showed me was nice, but could only accommodate up to 50 people. The second was a veranda which consisted of covered terrace that opened up into uncovered patio. I really liked this spot but I wasn't fond of how narrow the covered part was. It was definitely big enough to accommodate 60+ guests, but I felt that my guests would be too spread out. The next room was the ball room where they have all of their larger events, including weddings.

This was the room that I ultimately feel in love with. I loved the vaulted ceiling, the rich gold tones, and the overall openness of the room. I have always dreamed of doing a French inspired baby shower as I am obsessed with French culture and would even like to raise my children to be bilingual with their second language being French (although my husband is afraid that we are going to talk about him). Over the past couple of years I have collected ideas from different websites that I thought would fit great with this French theme. I would really like to do a black and white toile design but I am thinking about pairing a purple with a pale green for a color scheme that is soothing and fresh. I am really up in the air about this.
(This is easily created using wired vines).

(Lilac colored blooms in mason jars)
(Lace Parasols)

These are just some of the ideas that I have dreamed up over the past three years. The most important aspect of this shower is to celebrate this little miracle that is growing inside me. I still think back to when I thought having a biological child would never be possible, we were working with an adoption agency on domestic adoption. I really thought my dream of carrying my own biological child was over. On occasion, I read the "Dear Birthmother" letter that my husband and I wrote and it really reminds me how much we wanted to be parents together. I can't even get through the first couple of paragraphs without crying each time. It is also a wonderful reminder of the wonderful man that I married and how he is the center of my universe. I love him more than words could ever express...he is everything to me. I still can't believe that in a few short months we will have a new addition to join our loving family. Truly a blessing!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Dreaming Of Pink or Blue

Our gender determination ultrasound is coming up so fast. Even though we will not be announcing the gender until the baby shower, my husband and I are excited to find out. My 16 week appointment with my MFM is this Friday and I am going to try to con the ultrasound tech into looking. They are pretty strict about not telling the gender until the anatomy scan which will be done between 18 and 20 weeks so I am not sure if it will work. My husband and I are so excited about finding out that we booked an elective ultrasound two weeks from today at one of those elective ultrasound boutiques. They require you to be 16 weeks or more (we will be 16+3) at the time of the appointment. This early on they only do an enhanced 2D ultrasound to determine gender, which is fine with me. We get a 15 minute session, two pictures, and if we want, they can record our babies heartbeat into a stuffed bear. I love this idea!

No matter if my doctor's office will tell us or we have to wait until our elective ultrasound, we have decided that we are going to have them write the babies gender down on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope. We are then going to go to our local Baby Gap and pick out one girl and one boy outfit, which we will use to bring our baby home in from the hospital. I will tell the store associate that we want them to open the envelope and charge us for whatever outfit goes with the gender. I will ask them to wrap it up so we can't see which one it is and bring it to me as I will be waiting at the front of the store. My husband and I will then go home and open it together in the soon to be nursery. I honestly don't know who is more excited, him or me!

I would like to say that my husband has been absolutely amazing, especially over these past few weeks. Not only has he been to every single appointment since my egg retrieval 13 weeks ago, he is also taking part in the design of the nursery and even looks forward to the time that we lay down together and listen to our Little Cannoli's heartbeat on our doppler at home. This morning we listened to it for five minutes or so and he was just giddy about how loud the heartbeat is becoming and how much you can hear the baby moving around in there. The MFM has already told us that the baby is quite active, and even has a bit of an attitude...just like me! He is even taking the whole "stay at home dad" thing in stride. As much as I would like to be a stay at home mom, I just can't as my job supports our household. I am lucky in the sense that I don't sit in an office all day as my office is in my home and I am on the road during the day. I have the flexibility to briefly stop at home in between meetings when I am working in my area. We have also chosen a backup daycare/preschool for the times that he needs to get out and do things or even work (he is an independent contractor) but we will not use the day care, unless it is an extreme emergency, before the baby is 6 months old. This daycare/preschool is 5 minutes from our house so it is very convenient. They have a per-diem drop in rate that we would take advantage of. A family member of ours uses the same place but in a different location, and absolutely loves it. She actually just told me that they are teaching her daughter, who is 9 months old, to sign. It isn't a traditional daycare where the children are just cared for, it actually takes on more of a preschool concept where they work with the child to develop skills. She has had nothing but positive things to say about this place so it is quite reassuring.

I also had the opportunity to pick my shower location yesterday and I can't wait to share the details. My MFM said that it was a good idea that I have the nursery completed and my shower completed by the time I am 28 weeks as the risk of going on strict bedrest for me goes way up. He said that even if I am put on modified bedrest that I could still attend as long as we use a wheelchair and my feet are up once I am there. Hey, we will do what we have to do. More on my shower in my next post.