Friday, January 20, 2012

A Bittersweet Day (8 weeks 3 days)


Today I went in for my last ultrasound with my clinic. I wasn't as nervous as usual which was a strange concept for me. Normally I am in the waiting room praying that they hurry up and call me so my anxiety provoked nausea can subside. Today was much different. The ultrasound today was amazing. We got to see the amniotic sac completely surrounding the baby, the umbilical cord, a great view of the spine, and we even saw the arm and leg buds which were clear as day. Our little peanut's heart rate was 164pbm which means it increased 11bpm in a matter of three days! After we were done with the ultrasound, the nurse finished up my discharge papers and I was getting ready to leave. I soon found myself surrounded by the nurses and my doctor, all of whom have become family to me. It was at this point that I became emotional. Five losses, three IUIs, and five IVFs later and I am walking out with the most amazing miracle in the world. I realized that if it wasn't for these wonderful people I would never be where I am today. They gave me the strength to continue on when my will was too weak, they gave me hope when my heart was full of doubt, and they helped me to grow into the person I am today. I am forever grateful for them and truly have love for each and every one of them.

Shortly after I got home I received a call from the OB/MFM group that I will be seeing next Thursday. They called to let me know that there was a minor change in plans but not to worry. They are still having me come in for an initial intake with the nurse and an ultrasound with the MFM. The only change is that they are not scheduling me until after my appointment for my actual doctor visit. Originally, they had me down to also see an OB in addition to the MFM on Thursday but that OB will not be in the office that day, which actually worked out for the better as it could have been a complete waste of my time. Since they are almost positive that I will be staying with the MFM group exclusively, they want to wait to schedule me until Thursday when my intake is complete. The scheduler that called said that they can get me in as early as the following Monday if need be so she told me not to worry as there won't be any unnecessary waiting. This news actually makes me happy as they are truly going to evaluate me and decide which route (exclusive MFM or OB/MF combo) is best for my situation. She did say that with my history of losses, my medical history, and my risk for incompetent cervix, that I am a shoe in with the MFM group. I am getting excited about my first appointment on Thursday. It is a whole new world for me!

I am still in complete awe about today as it marks the day, for the first time in over 2 1/2 years, that my life continues on. The next chapter is starting for me and I couldn't be happier. I no longer have to keep repeating the chapter that is filled with sadness, heartache, and pain. I am moving forward, getting closer every day to my "happily ever after".

8 comments:

  1. Congrats on "graduating" from the RE!

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  2. I'm so over joyed and excited for you and DH:). Your an amazing person who has been through a lot. The joy your miracle will bring you will make it all worth it. Hugs!

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  3. This is so wonderful to read! It gives me hope!

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  4. Stopped by from ICLW. I love new chapters- here's to hoping yours is great!

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  5. Amazing to have reached this point! Best wishes for continued good health for you and the baby!

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  6. Hi from ICLW! Congratulations on finally graduating from the RE!

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  7. Yeah! I am so thrilled for you and am so excited to see your happily ever after arrive.

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