Sunday, January 8, 2012

All I Do Is Worry

First of all I just realized that I never put up pictures of my little beans. Here is Baby B:

Here is Baby A (you can see Baby B's sac too):

I am counting down the days to my next ultrasound. It was supposed to be Friday but since I need to go in for my immune panel, TSH, and Anti-XA level on Thursday, we decided to move it up a day. The nurse on Friday told me that I could come more often as she saw how terrified I was. I really appreciate the offer, and eventually I might take her up on that, but I am trying really hard to only go once a week. After the fiasco with my HCG levels, sometimes going more often than you should can cause unnecessary worry! I am very anxious to get a reading on the babies heart rates. Last time we just confirmed they were there but did not measure them. A part of me is actually happy we didn't as the heart rate is usually on the slower end that early on, and the last time we measured a heart rate at 6 weeks I spent an entire week worrying that it was too low. I am quite anxious about this pregnancy. The whole "twins" thing hasn't sunk in yet but I think that is more my brain protecting me. I am praying every minute of the day that both babies make it. The whole "vanishing twin" thing scares me as it occurs in 20% of all twin pregnancies. I am hoping that I am in the other 80%, especially now that we have seen heartbeats on both babies. I am not obsessing over this, I am just cautious about the outcome. I already love my babies so much and I can't imagine continuing this pregnancy without them both!

Besides all this worry I am actually feeling better than I expected. I get very tired very easily. Things like taking a shower and cooking make me need a nap. I have also been very thirsty as I can't seem to drink enough but that probably is a good thing as I am not really good at keeping up with my fluids under normal circumstances. The one symptom that I actually like as it reminds me that I am still pregnant is the constant light cramping and occasional ripping sensation that I feel in my uterus. Not only is my uterus getting ready for one baby, it is getting ready to do the miraculous task of housing two babies. The queasiness hasn't been that bad as long as I eat every few hours. In the middle of the night I have been waking up with this pressure type feeling in my chest, almost like something is stuck and I need to puke it up. At this time I usually go downstairs and have a bowl of my Kashi cereal and that seems to help. I just started following the book "When You Are Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads" by Dr. Barbara Luke, as she has a whole section devoted to nutrition and weight gain. Her philosophy is that a twin pregnancy is not a regular pregnancy plus an extra baby, it is a unique situation that requires special attention and care. She recommends that a twin mommy should gain between 40-56lbs., with 25lbs. of that being in the first 20 weeks. I have gained 4lbs. so far so that means that I have approximately 16lbs to put on in the next 13 weeks. Yikes!!! She said it is crucial to gain weight quickly in the first part of the pregnancy because once you hit 24 weeks, it becomes difficult to eat and gain a healthy amount of weight. To do this she recommends eating 3500 calories a day, including 175-219 grams of protein (she said this is most important), 394-438 grams of carbohydrates, and 117 grams of fat. This doesn't mean running to McDonald's either. She wants the diet to consist of lean meats, lots of whole-fat dairy, whole grains, 128oz. of water, and fruits and vegetables. I thought that this was a bit extreme, but her book seems to be the Bible on multiple pregnancies that a lot of women follow so I am going to do my best to stick to it. I am actually not doing all that bad. I seem to always be eating though!!

Also, I would just like to reiterate to my few family and friends who read this to please keep this information private. We are not sharing this information with our parents or families yet as it is just too early to know what is going to happen. If you need a reminder as to why, read here. Thanks so much for your understanding.


  1. Awww TWINS yay! How exciting!!
    I can totally relate to your post. I had 3 miscarriages, all around 6 weeks. With NO living children. When I became pregnant this time, I worried like CRAZY. Like you, I didn't really have any symptoms to go by. I would google like a mad woman. Then I decided that God likes to give us Mommy's of loss a break on the symptoms when we finally get our rainbow babies. After worrying about my lack of them, I realized I should be thanking God for an easy pregnancy!

    When I finally heard the heartbeat at 8 weeks, it offered some relief, but I still worried like crazy. It's so incredibly hard to not worry after what people like you and I have been through. Honestly though, the fact that you saw heartbeats is HUGE. Keep your chin up, you will be out of the scary first trimester before you know it. I am finally in the 2nd trimester, and I felt like I'd never get here. Now I look back, and it feels like I got here lightning fast.

    I am so excited for your twinies, and am so eager to follow you on your journey, and watch those babies grow! Congrats Mama!

  2. Ive been reading your blog for a few months now. Talking about serious ups and downs. What an amazing turn in the road to find out you have twins! I am continueing to pray for you and babies.