Sunday, September 25, 2011

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

It is officially one week since I started my "transformation" and let me just say that I have never felt better. I have continued to nurture my new found relationship with food. This is in no way a diet, I just have adapted a healthier lifestyle. I continue to drink my organic smoothies with wheatgrass and flax seed in the morning. I have completely cut out all "white" carbs and will only eat whole grain carbs (brown rice, 100% whole grain bread) and even those are limited. I no longer drink ANY soda or indulge in anything that contains the words "diet," "low-fat," or "fat free." Those things are poison to your body. Don't believe me, start doing some research! I have invested in quite a few books about natural eating and I wish I would have learned these things a long time ago. A year ago I would have laughed at this concept but now that I am in my 7th injectable cycle and have nothing to show for it, I am no longer laughing. I have realized that eating organic is much more expensive but at this point I don't care. I feel like a completely different person. I have energy, I am happy and even though I still have a long way to go, I am feeling better about the way I look. I have only lost 4 1/2 pounds since starting this a week ago, but I think the fact that I know that I am doing something about it is enough to boost my self esteem. I also want to make it clear that my motivation for doing this is not to lose weight, it is to live a healthier life. After dealing with these ups and downs with my blood sugars I realized that my body was controlling me. I also found out last week, after having my blood drawn the week prior, that my cholesterol is 221. Not good! I also figure that if modern medicine can't get me pregnant that I need to take matters into my own hands. I am not stopping fertility treatments, but I now know that I need to do my part, and that is to take care of myself. I put on 35 pounds since starting this journey over 2 years ago and that is disgusting!

I just finished the book "Inconceivable: A Women's Triumph Over Despair and Statistics" by Julia Indichova and this is what opened my eyes to all of this. She was a women of "advanced maternal age" who had a FSH of 42. She went from doctor to doctor in NYC and was told by every single one of them that there was no hope. She ended up walking away from that route and took matters into her own hands. She became a vegan, ate nothing but organic and even participated in guided imagery and yoga. Needless to say she conceived naturally and that month her FSH was 30.4. I also read about 6 other women who also had similar stories. Two of them consulted with the same RE I did in NYC who told me that he would never do IVF on me because of my linings. He said that my only chance of ever having a baby would be through surrogacy. They left his practice, one after radical treatment and testing (the kind my current RE talked me out of) and the other after failed treatments. They too were given no hope. After leaving his practice they adapted a healthy lifestyle, taking part in relaxation techniques such a meditation, guided imagery, and yoga. All of these women also attended their local RESOLVE support group. All of them conceived.

I do realize that not every women gets pregnant and this isn't a "fix all" for everyone. I am a believer though. The clinic I work with is big into Eastern Medicine combined with fertility treatments. The head RE advocates for things like acupuncture, meditation, and Maya abdominal massage. He is a huge advocate for positive thinking. He is very "metaphysical" so to speak. When I first started with them I never got into this and sometimes I would laugh at it. Well, not anymore. I truly believe that perception is everything. I have gone though 7 injectable cycles, 5 loses (one being heterotopic), 3 D&Cs, 4 rounds of Methotrexate, a septum removal, a HSG, 3 hysteroscopies, an endometrial biopsy, emergency bladder surgery with 6 weeks of dealing with a catheter, endless testing with no answers, and numerous failed cycles, and if I can find a way to stay positive and hopeful after all of that, it can be done! I don't know what the future holds for me but I do know that I am at peace. I have taken all of my energy that I would put into being depressed, sad, anxious and defeated, and I have channeled it into something better...a healthy and happy me!

2 comments:

  1. I'm so happy to see you in this wonderful, positive place. Wishing you the best.

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  2. I read that book too! Loved it. Yay for the new diet. I'm glad you feel better. I've been thinking of going organic too for a while. Maybe its time for me too.

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