Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Just Call Me Dr. Evil

Last night, after going through each of my cycle timelines, I decided that I was going to switch things up. Because I have an honorary pharmacy degree, or at least think I do, I decided to start taking my Provera yesterday which is a couple of days earlier then I was scheduled to. For those of you who don't know, Provera is a progestin hormone which is a form of progesterone. It is usually prescribed in tablet form to induce AF. It is generally taken for 10 days and once stopped, AF typically shows within 2 or 3 days. If you haven't ever taken progesterone, consider yourself lucky. As soon as I start taking it I can feel my horns emerge from beneath my hair...I feel possessed. I actually look pretty similar to Linda Blair in the Exorcist. However, I have the ability to go from Dr. Evil to a tearful mess in a split second. As I was driving down the Northway today I could feel myself looking for those drivers that I knew would piss me off, particularly those who drive the speed limit until you try to pass them, then they speed up (nothing annoys me more!) After drag racing with a minivan for about a mile, my IPod shuffled and stopped on a song that, when on hormones, I can't listen to without crying (Listen from the Dreamgirls Soundtrack.) I went from a drag racing bitch to a crying baby in about 2 seconds. Unfortunately, this is how I am going to be for the next 10 days. Lucky me...or should I say my poor husband!

On a positive note, I had dinner tonight with an amazing couple that I met a while back who have lived in this infertility hell as well. After 8 IUIs, 5 IVFs, and many tears, they were successful and are currently 28 weeks pregnant with a little girl. At dinner we talked about how people who haven't traveled this road can't understand what we are going through, therefore it is so important to rely on each other for support and guidance. My friend was telling me about some stupid things that people have said to her about not being able to get pregnant, something I think we have all experienced. We have all been told to "just relax, it will happen," "there is always adoption," or my favorite "maybe you just weren't meant to have kids." I like to think that people mean well, but really, how can they be that stupid?!?! My friend refers to these comments and other awkward comments as "tunaism." After I finished laughing I asked her to elaborate on that. Her explanation of this term was that "tunas are stupid fish, therefore, when someone makes a stupid comment without thinking, it is a form of tunaism." I love it! The one thing that this dinner made me realize is that, even though this journey has been hell, I have met some incredible people who will be in my life forever. For that, I am truly grateful.

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