Monday before my transfusion I had my weekly ultrasound to check the baby and we discovered that the heartbeat was gone. Because I was further along, they scheduled me for a D&C Tuesday morning. After not sleeping all night I decided 2 hours before my surgery to put it off as I was in total denial about what had happened. My primary care physician repeated the ultrasound Tuesday evening and confirmed that the baby had passed away. I rescheduled my D&C for Thursday morning and went through with it.
I will be taking a hiatus from life for a while as I don't want to participate in reality at the moment. I am sure that in time I will feel better but right now I am not okay. I appreciate everyone's kind words. I have had my phone and computer off all week so I apologize if I have missed any calls or messages. I am not ready to talk about this. Thanks everyone, for understanding.